Thursday, 24 May 2012

A Love too good to last

     Marisol and I fell in love instantly, it felt differently to anything I had ever felt before; that day I kissed her on a whim became the most wonderful of my life and sure many people gained fame from it, claiming they were us but we didn’t mind; we had each other. We married only a few months later and stayed in San Francisco, I got a job in a garage and she remained a nurse working with the vets, I couldn’t have been happier, my dark days were behind me, I finally had someone to change for though I could not fully change. I told Marisol everything, nearly everything, the one thing I could not bring myself to tell her was who I truly was; how do you tell your wife that you over centuries old, that you have feasted on every kind of human flesh, children and their mothers, husbands and wives. How do you tell her that you are the bogey man, the dark shadow every child fears and sings about, the monster in the wardrobe, under the bed waiting to pounce and swallow you up. No, I could not tell her though my plan was flawed; I do not age, I do not die, I do not get ill nor do I suffer greatly from injury I am in-human, a monster, a myth; I could not break her heart. Yes I knew that one day she would notice that something was wrong and I knew that I would have to tell her then but I decided that I would deal with that when I came to it and I hoped that it would not be for many years and this worked perfectly; she may have noticed that my hair did not grey, that wrinkled did not crisscross my face, my bones did not begin to ache and that I did not suffer from disease or virus but she never mentioned it, she simply loved me.

    Our love flourished for 20 years, no children were ever bore but we were happy as far as I know I am unable to father a child, probably a good thing. Instead we owned many pets great and small and we built a beautiful home. Marisol retired early and opened a florist and we were so happy, so content; I could have remained that way forever unfortunately it was not to be and fate once again intervened in my life, punishing me for many a life time of sins.  

     I didn’t retire, though we had the money, I have accumulated quite a bit over the many years of my life but I didn’t want to retire I wanted to keep every human thing I could, grip hold of it and keep it close this was to be my downfall. On a normal day my whole world was crushed, literally, I had been working on a car when the lever had given way, the car plunged down upon me, it crushed my entire middle, I could not breath, I tasted the iron of blood in my mouth and upon my lips and I thought I was actually going to die. Usually I would have been happy, I would have welcomed this but on that day I begged not to, I had gained everything I wanted and I was not ready to give it up and I did not. An injury that would have killed a normal human being with-in seconds did not take my life; I was rushed to the hospital, operated upon and watched over by my love and I woke up though my chances had been dire. I recovered in record time, I baffled doctors and geniuses and I terrified my wife. When I returned home I knew something had changed, she did not want my touch, she did not even want to look upon me and I could see the terror in her eyes,

“what are you?” she asked me gravely and I so desperately wanted to lie, fain shock and confusion but I loved her too much to do that and so I told her the truth, I began with the beginning, I watched as her face turned from terror to disgust to shock and disbelief, from anger and heartbreak to rage and to nothing. Counted the tears as they streamed down her face and I had to hold myself back from embracing her in my arms. She had asked me why and I knew to what she referred, why had I let her fall in love with me, make a life with me but I could not answer her. I wanted to make her feel better, I wanted her to turn to me and say she didn’t care, she didn’t care that I had consumed enough humans to start a small country, that she didn’t care that I was never going to grow old but she did not. Instead she walked away from me, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces and I fell to my knees.

     I remained on my knees until she returned, in her hand was my suitcase,

“you leave tonight and I never hear from you ever again, do you understand? She had asked

“yes” I answered knowing that there was nothing I could do or say to change her mind, “why” I had added and she knew what I was asking

“because no matter how hard I try or how much you revolt me I love you, loved you, now leave” she said a single set of tears toughed at her eyes, millions fell from mine. I took my case and I left, I left the country the next morning and returned back to England, my heart was broken, my soul had shrivelled and I could feel a familiar tugging with-in my stomach.

     Marisol died 10 years later, cancer took her, I had never gone against her wish, though I did occasionally look to see what she was doing; she never re-married, never found love again, though she did remain a successful florist. I went to her funeral, hung back in the shadows and watched from afar, I did not cry, I think by then I could no longer cry but I missed her, I place a single yellow rose upon her grave when she had been left by her mourners and said once more how sorry I was for all I had done before I met her, for all I had done to her, for all I had done since I had left her and for all I would do.        

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